Civilisation V LP, maybe

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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  LurkerGuy on Sun Jul 01, 2012 1:39 am

Hmm, looks like this is getting off to a good start.

Anyway, while I would love to see the awesome idea of an army of Mongols conquering the world, it seems that’s already been happening for you in another game so, I pick Askia. His ability just sounds really useful.
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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Thanatologist on Sun Jul 01, 2012 2:01 am

Oda.

Because his name makes me want to search for Gol D. Roger's treasure and become The Pirate King. And play with rubber bands. Plus his shonen aura.
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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Kiri Ame on Sun Jul 01, 2012 11:42 pm

Votes:

Askia - 3

Gandhi - 2

Bismarck - 3

Harun Al-Rashid - 1

Catherine - 1

Hiawatha - 1

Genghis - 1

Oda - 1

...Welp, looks like it's a toss-up between Bismarck and Askia. I'll flip a coin and then get started on the game.

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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Doctor Thunder on Sun Jul 01, 2012 11:55 pm

Hmm, since they're tied, I think Bismark's mustache might be the better option. They're both militarily-focused leaders, so I think he might be the better choice. =P

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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Oni-Lord on Mon Jul 02, 2012 1:40 am

I shall be the deciding vote! I vote for...

Bismark's face fuzz

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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Kiri Ame on Mon Jul 02, 2012 1:49 am

Very well, then. The people appear to have spoken. Bismarck it is. -n-



Gentlemen, I give you our new leader. Gaze upon the glory of his moustache, and know that as surely as sauerkraut is... whatever sauerkraut is, we shall prevail.



I mostly used the default settings for this run-through of the game. The game sets itself to difficulty level 2 the first time you play, because it apparently has a really low opinion of its player base, but for this run-through I am going to attempt to polish my e-peen by playing, not on Beginner, but on Easy. Because I'm just that hardcore. Clearly I am the best qualified out of all the Civ players here to show everyone else the game.

Anyway, you can make the game last longer or have a bigger map, but I figured that, for the purpose of the LP, it would be better to just leave things on their default settings. One thing I did do, though, was to change the map type - instead of consisting of a few continents and some islands, I chose the Pangaea option, which turns the map into one massive continent with the occasional island staring sadly at all the fun everyone's having without them. I did that because, in my last two games, I ended up spending a fair bit of time just sitting around, waiting for my people to discover navigation so I could explore further afield. With a Pangaea map, I don't have to do that.

Also, it means that I won't have to bother much with a navy, which suits Bismarck's ability pretty well.




Having finished setting up the game, I decided it was time to start it for real. As I clicked the "Start Game" button, some gravelly-voiced orator started telling Bismarck how great he is, presumably to pump up his ego so he can continue to have an awesome ability for the 5000~6000 odd years he's going to be doing it for. I sat and listened while the narrator did his little pep talk. I didn't realise that great leaders really needed this sort of encouragement, but I figured it would be best to let that old disembodied voice do his thing for a while.



Uh-huh.

Anyway, once the narrator finished talking, I started the game. At the beginning of Civ V, your empire has jack squat; just a small band of warriors that have managed to scrape themselves together into a single unit, and a magical little puddle of settlers with the power to merge together and turn into a city.



I'm assuming until proven wrong that this is how the Troper creates his cities.

Anyway, some airy-fairy chick with a weird voice told me that this was a good place to set up shop, so I had my settlers do their thing, and the ancient, mystical city of Berlin was born. Berlin can sound mystical, right? Maybe if I put an apostrophe in the middle. Ber'lin. Eh, either way. If anyone wants to name it to something else, I'm accepting suggestions.



Anyway, it turned out looking like this. Not the most impressive of places at the moment, but hey, we have a river. That's a good start.



The game immediately told me that I needed to build something, so I decided to start pouring my resources into making a worker to till all of this prettily-rendered earth. Workers basically exist to put improvements on tiles, which means if you want to make a mine, or a farm, or a road, or a pasture, then you need a worker. They're extremely useful, but they do have a tendency to get in the way of your troops when you're trying to march through some place you just conquered so that you can conquer the place right next to it. We'll have to watch out for that.



Anyway, as soon as I'd elected to make a worker, the game told me to choose something to research. The Civ V tech tree is here, for anyone who's interested, and I'd like to get into the habit of leaving research choices up to you guys whenever possible, but just for these first few turns, I decided to pick Animal Husbandry. Animal Husbandry lets you build pastures around sheep, cattle and horses, the latter of which can be used to make mounted death-hordes units later on. Since we have some cattle sitting around in the middle of our city at present, I figured animal husbandry was a suitable option.

Anyway, with that completed, I decided to take a look around and see what there was available in and around our capital.



There's cattle...



And sugar...



And... more cattle and sugar...



Mountains, which exist only to be useless and in your way...



Rocks, so that we can build Moai or something if we get bored of existing as a nation...



Trees...



More trees...



Even more tree- hey, is that a coastline? Sweet. We can have a beach party when we win the game.

Anyway, there isn't too much around here, so I figured it was time to send my warriors off to explore the surrounding area.



They walked...



And walked...



And found themselves wandering right into a camp full of pissed-off barbarians.

As I hovered my mouse over the barbarian encampment, it informed me that I would suffer a "minor defeat" if I chose to fight these guys right now. Discouraged by having happened to stumble right into their camp before I even had a chance to build another warrior and gang up on them, I did what any great leader would do; turned tail and ran the fuck away.



RETREAT






My warriors made their way towards the patch of blue I had seen earlier, until their eyes alighted upon the magnificent sight of waves crashing upon the shore. The ocean beckoned to them, and just as I was about to order them to explore the coastline and see how far it extended, I was approached by a somewhat rapey-looking gentleman on a horse.



So far, it looks like his attitude hasn't changed at all since I was playing as him. Bismarck wouldn't give him a hug and tell him how proud I am of him, but I'm sure he knows in the back of his mind that he will always be my favourite virtual adoptive monstrous non-child.

I should probably kill him before he invents mounted units and destroys everything, though. That part's probably not as fun when you're on the receiving end.

Anyway, I wasn't entirely sure how Genghis had even managed to find me, so I decided to scroll around the map and see where a unit of his had met one of mine.



Oh. Oh shit.

Genghis Temujin Khan, if your warriors set one foot inside that city, then you are so grounded.




Anyway, I've almost finished researching Animal Husbandry, so what's next? Our easiest options would be pottery, archery and mining, but by the time I'm finished with animal husbandry, trapping and the wheel should also be available. Trapping and mining probably wouldn't be too useful right at the moment, but pottery is a prerequisite for all sorts of things, and archery and the wheel both make some pretty good ancient-era soldiers available.

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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Doctor Thunder on Mon Jul 02, 2012 2:07 am

My vote's on the wheel. That's a thing every thriving nation needs, and with a (small) Mongol horde right outside your city walls, you can't really afford to dally on the military upgrades. Alternately, get archery and plink away at them from behind your walls. One of those two.

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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Oni-Lord on Mon Jul 02, 2012 2:17 am

With the mongol hordes within spitting distance, I think Archery should be a priority.

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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Lynkzero13 on Mon Jul 02, 2012 2:24 am

Genghis Khan's rape-face is oddly fitting considering how many women he supposedly sexed up during his life. I think estimates put it at something like 8% of Asia's mainland population being his descendants. Bitch was a pimp.

Pottery then the wheel looks like a good choice to me, not the least reason being that then you can combine the two and run down the mongol hordes with your hulking horse-drawn china deathtraps. Archery would also be nice against the potential mounted units, but wouldn't have immediate secondary benefits. Which obviously makes it the best choice for maximum lulz.

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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Kiri Ame on Mon Jul 02, 2012 2:32 am

The only thing pottery does by itself is allow you to build a granary, but the reason a lot of people choose it early is because it unlocks some really important things. In terms of immediate military results, though, archery would probably be our best bet. The wheel would unlock chariots, but we'd need to have a source of horses for those, and I'm not sure if there are any close enough to be obtainable.

And yeah, rapey!Genghis Khan is possibly the most historically accurate thing in this game. Although that really isn't saying much. =P

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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Doctor Thunder on Mon Jul 02, 2012 2:36 am

I'll change my vote to archery, then. That seems like our best bet.

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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  E350tb on Mon Jul 02, 2012 4:02 am

I say archery - keep the horde off our backs, eh?
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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Megafire on Mon Jul 02, 2012 6:03 am

Definitely Archery. Defensive units are going to be important, especially since we have both mister Khan and a horde of barbarians nearby.
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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Gaunt88 on Mon Jul 02, 2012 6:23 am

Be a hipster and go with pottery. Maybe the mongol hordes will be so impressed by our wonky mugs that they'll leave us alone =P

(Actual serious vote: Archery sounds good. We must defend our cows and sugar.)
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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Aken Jizo on Mon Jul 02, 2012 2:02 pm

Archery. Just remember to keep your archers out of melee range (seriously, a stiff breeze can kill them and their entire extended family; it's ridiculous).

Also, just a minor note, if Kiri didn't change any of the advanced settings, then we are working under a time limit. There's another type of victory (for a given value of victory) called Time Victory. This is basically when every single player is too balls-to-the-wall retarded to win in any fashion under the time limit, so the game just gives up and chooses a winner to avoid having to watch this embarrassment any further. If I remember correctly, the last year is 2050 A.D., so we have about 6050 turns. That may seem like a lot, and it is, but these things disappear faster than Old People Years. For instance, that worker? It's going to take 18 turns for that guy to get his shit together enough to be useable.

TL;DR We have a time limit that goes by surprisingly quickly.
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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  GameGuru on Mon Jul 02, 2012 5:37 pm

Learn archery. Genghis needs to learn to keep his hands to himself and that no means no.
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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Megafire on Mon Jul 02, 2012 9:00 pm

Also, that little country is not Belgium, Civ V, and it never has been. I should know, I damn well live there.
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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Lynkzero13 on Mon Jul 02, 2012 11:53 pm

I still support my original decision of pottery, even if only because it's the least useful at the current time. But I cede to my outnumbered foes which support archery.

Go forth bravely, yon cattle-mounted bowmen, and rain death and shame 'pon thine enemies. May thy sugar addiction never inhibit thine aim.

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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Kiri Ame on Tue Jul 03, 2012 1:22 am

Just a quick update, since the game has been progressing fairly quickly, and it only took me a few turns to reach my next decision.

I started researching Archery on everyone's advice, and as the turn... turned over, I watched in trepidation, wondering just what move the dastardly Mongol forces were going to make.



They just sort of wandered around the outskirts of my city for a while and then disappeared, taking any semblance of dramatic tension along with them. I knew that Genghis would have to be eliminated before he figured out how to put people on horses and make them fight, though, so I decided that it was time for my brave warriors to continue exploring. Before I could do anything, though, I was accosted by a new opponent.



I'm just taking it for granted right now that her entire capital city is just hidden under that massive skirt of hers.

Anyway, I took it for granted that the spearmen she had sent to wander around in a nearby forest were probably just lost, and decided to let them do their thing while I sent my warriors off to do theirs.



They're just too English to look threatening, y'know?

As my warriors set off in their quest to find the mysterious, faraway lands of England and Mongolia, I followed their exploits with a keen, eager eye.



Not much happened.



Although they did find some horses. They're too far away to really be useful to me right now, but hopefully the first city I find will have some horses for me to use once we annex the place.

Anyway, I was about to give up and start moving back in a different direction, when I found some Mongol spearmen camping out on the tundra.



I'm hoping that this is a sign that their home city is nearby, and that I am about to acquire my first target. I'm getting a little bored just having my warriors just wander around aimlessly.



But before I got to find out whether I really had found Genghis' little tundra hideout, the game informed me that I had finished researching Archery. We'll see the results of that research in a few turns, but for the meantime, we need to figure out what new technologies we're going to develop. As you can see, we have four options at the moment. Pottery won't offer us any immediate military advantage, but it's the quickest technology we can learn right now, and we're sort of going to need it if we plan on ever getting out of the Ancient era. Also, it leads to a lot of useful things later on. Mining isn't really particularly useful right now, but again, it doesn't take long to learn, and we'll probably need it later. Trapping allows us, among other things, to build a circus, which will allow us to increase our empire's happiness by pacifying everyone with horses and elephants prancing around a ring. That'll be important once we start conquering nations, since doing that makes everyone sad. Finally, we have the option of learning all about the wheel, which will allow us to build roads (which I've never really bothered with) and chariot archers (which are pretty cool for their era.)

So yeah. Four options. We'll get more once we've started learning them, but for now, I think I'd like to pick two or three so that I can have more real content for my next update. Any takers?

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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  E350tb on Tue Jul 03, 2012 1:24 am

Mining, then pottery, I think. They sound the most useful. Smile
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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Ud the Imp on Tue Jul 03, 2012 1:35 am

Mining, Pottery, then the Wheel
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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  GameGuru on Tue Jul 03, 2012 2:33 am

Pottery, Mining, and then the Wheel.
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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Thanatologist on Tue Jul 03, 2012 11:22 am

^What they said.
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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Doctor Thunder on Tue Jul 03, 2012 12:35 pm

What are you guys talking about? The circus is the first step on the path to glory!

(I know I'm not going to win this vote, but I had to vote for this. I'm sure you understand. =P)

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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

Post  Locoman on Tue Jul 03, 2012 1:03 pm

Pottery, mining, then the wheel.

Then invent the circus. :p
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Re: Civilisation V LP, maybe

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